Join Johnny Depp — preteen heartthrob turned wino forever — for a retrospective on every film of his entire career, even the ones we didn’t watch, in order to ask... what happened? Toss your golden doubloons, scissorhands memorabilia, and embarrassing fan letters onto the shrine turned dumpster fire Depp has created for himself. Part ritual & part drunken singalong, Johnny Depp: a Retrospective features rum, promiscuity, and $30,000 worth of candles by which we can pay to watch the Rich consume us all.
Jenna Kuerzi as Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow as Johnny Depp as Late Stage Capitalism as Jack Sparrow.
Val Dunn, for one brief shining moment, as Winona Ryder.
*Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is intended purely as a satire.*